Bakura's first pet!
by Psycho BakuRyou
Summary: Bakura finds a small black puppy near his house.He does whatever he can to keep Ryou from finding out he has a cute small puppy living in his house.


Bakura's First Pet!

Inspired by: Halos of Chaos and also a dedication. )

Ryou had just dragged Bakura out of Marik's car from their trip to the water park.

"So…Ryou the one who never gets annoyed finally got annoyed by his "best friend?" Bakura asked smirking.

"I…didn't get annoyed just happy to finally be home because home is great. Home is my life. I would be nothing without my home." Ryou said smiling nervously.

Bakura stared at him.

"Stop looking at me I'm ugly!" Ryou screamed running away from Bakura.

Bakura rolled his eyes and followed him.

He heard small whimpering near two trashcans and figured that's where Ryou was hiding.

"Ryou?" He asked knocking the trash cans down.

His eyes got big and teary when he saw a cute little black puppy.

"No Bakura stop staring at it. You don't give into cuteness." He said closing his eyes.

The dog whimpered loudly and scratched Bakura's leg softly.

"No! No! Fight it Bakura." He said trying to walk away.

He looked back and saw it sitting there wagging his tail quickly sticking out it's tongue and putting big puppy eyes.

Bakura broke down in tears. "You're so cute! You're coming with me!" He said picking it up.

He reached the apartment door and saw the puppy Ryou had no idea about.

"I'll have to hide you for now. If Ryou found out about me there's no telling what he'll do." Bakura whispered to the puppy.

He shoved the dog in his pants and walked in.

Ryou looked at him strangely.

"Bakura?" He asked.

"I don't have anything out of the ordinary!" Bakura screamed.

"Now you're making me wonder. Why are you walking like you have something shoved up your ass?" Ryou asked.

"Because maybe I do have something shoved in my ass! Like gold! Because…I'm…sexy." Bakura said cocking an eyebrow at what he said.

"Well, when you get infections…

"Yea whatever. Talk to the elbow because the hand is on vacation." Bakura said walking away.

"Hand is on vacation…?" Ryou asked cocking an eyebrow.

Bakura ran to his room and shook his leg so the dog could come out.

The dog gave a big breath and started choking.

"Stop being so exaggerative I'm sure it wasn't that bad." Bakura said.

The dog glared at him.

Bakura sat down next to the dog and started petting it.

"I need a name for you." He said.

The dog barked something like "Pedro."

"Hmm…I got it I'll name you—

"Bakura! Come down for dinner! You better have gotten that "gold" out of your ass." Ryou screamed.

"I'm not hungry. I won't eat. I'm staying with my cute puppy called—

Ryou started coming up the stairs.

Bakura panicked and ran around the room holding the dog wondering where to stuff him.

The knob was turning.

He shoved the dog in his hair and sat on the bed.

"I called you for dinner. I'm sure you heard me." Ryou said.

"Um…I'm not hungry."

Ryou cocked an eyebrow. "You're always hungry."

"No today." Bakura said.

"You're eating." Ryou said grabbing Bakura's hand and taking him downstairs.

"Mmm casserole my…favorite." Bakura said putting on a face of disgust.

"Bakura take that shit face off I know you like casserole." Ryou said.

"Hello-o-o-o-o-o Bakura family!" Marik said coming in.

He took a seat and grabbed a plate.

"Marik stop freeloading." Bakura said grabbing his spray from a nearby drawer.

"Today's Friday. Ishizu cooks. I might die." Marik said.

"More reasons for why you should go and eat her food." Bakura smiled.

Marik laughed sarcastically and served himself some casserole.

Bakura "actually" went to get some casserole and saw the Marik germs swimming in the food.

"Gross!" Bakura screamed spraying the Anti-Sep Lysol water in the casserole.

"Bakura! You ruined my food!" Ryou screamed.

"I dunno Ryou…it tastes pretty ruined." Marik said pulling and eggshell from his mouth.

Ryou growled angrily.

"Marik ruined it! His germs were bathing in it!" Bakura screamed.

"Hey my germs are harmless!" Marik screamed.

The Marik germs coughed.

Ryou was about to yell something when something sneezed.

"Bakura…? Your hair sneezed." Marik said.

"N-no that was I. Achoo." Bakura pathetically fake sneezed.

The dog came rolling out of his hair and landed in the casserole.

"Ah! A rat! A rat!" Ryou screamed.

"Can I eat it!" Marik screamed.

"Oh my god a rat!" Bakura said pretending to be shocked picking it up.

"Ew! Bakura throw it outside! Hurry!" Ryou screamed hiding under the table.

"No! Give it to me!" Marik said hungrily.

Bakura ran outside and closed the door.

"You see what trouble you got me into!" Bakura almost yelled.

The puppy whimpered sadly.

"Now you're covered in Marik germs—he sprayed the dog with his Anti-Sep Lysol water—and that icky casserole Ryou made. Now I have to clean you. I barely clean myself you have to be more careful you dumb dog." Bakura said angrily.

The puppy whimpered sadly again and licked Bakura.

Bakura put on big eyes and hugged his dog.

"Ok sorry." He said climbing up the window.

He bathed himself and the dog and went to his room where he saw Marik sitting infesting his bed with Marik germs.

"Marik!" Bakura screamed angrily.

"Yes?" Marik asked nicely.

"Get out of my room! Look at my bed! It's swarming with your little germs!" Bakura screamed.

"But, I had to watch Dora the explorer somewhere Ryou was watching the cooking channel downstairs." Marik said.

"There's a TV at your house you idiot!" Bakura screamed.

"Hey you have that rat again! Can I eat it I'm really hungry?" Marik asked rubbing his stomach.

"Does this look like a rat!" Bakura asked screaming.

"Aww…false alarm it's a raccoon." Marik said sadly.

He rolled all over Bakura's bed and got up to leave.

"You bitch!" Bakura screamed.

Bakura burned his bed and dragged Ryou's out of his room.

"Where's my bed?" Bakura heard Ryou say.

"Marik stole it!" Bakura yawned.

Ryou sighed.

"Bakura I'm bunking with you." He said walking in.

Bakura hid the dog under his pillow.

"No you're not." Bakura said.

"I have no where to sleep." Ryou said.

"The couch is available." Bakura said.

"Marik's sleeping down there." Ryou sighed.

"Damn tell him to get the fuck out! I can barely breath with these little bitchy germs flying everywhere!" Bakura screamed.

"I tried." Ryou yawned tiredly.

"No hard enough! Get him out! You're not sleeping with me!" Bakura screamed angrily.

"Fine I'll just sleep on the floor." Ryou said upset laying on the floor.

Bakura sighed and grabbed the dog.

"Now you can't bark or whimper or do anything. Ryou has no idea of your existence…no name." Bakura said to the dog.

The dog barked "Pedro" again, but Bakura didn't catch on.

Bakura shushed and closed the door to the bathroom.

"You don't have to sleep on the floor anymore." Bakura said.

"No it's comfortable down here." Ryou said.

"Whatever." Bakura said.

Later that night the dog started barking and whimpering.

"Bakura shut up!" Ryou screamed.

Bakura snored loudly.

Ryou got up and headed for the bathroom.

He started screaming hysterically when he saw the "rat"

Bakura fell out of his bed and heard the toilet flushing.

Ryou started laughing evilly screaming "Die Rat die!"

Bakura pushed Ryou out of the way and saw his precious dog being flushed down the toilet.

"No name! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He screamed crying running out of the house.

He was down in the sewers a good couple of weeks until he "miraculously" found "No name" in there.

"I told you not to bark and what do you do! You bark! What would have happened if I wouldn't have found you in the sewers!" Bakura shouted angrily at the dog.

The dog whimpered sadly.

"Bad doggy." Bakura said whacking it softly.

"Damn Ryou! I can't believe he'd be so mean as to flush an animal down the toilet." He said angrily petting his dog.

"Oh! I still need a name for you." Bakura said.

The dog barked "Pedro" really loudly.

"I know! I'll call you…Pussy." Bakura said hugging his dog,

The dog cried at his awful name.

"We started off pretty bad Pussy, but I promise one day I'll tell Ryou you exist." Bakura smiled sitting down in front of his living room and playing video games.

Ryou walked in with one side of his hair flat.

"Ew Bakura. Shave your pit." He said when he saw a big black patch under his arm.

"Sure thing." Bakura said giving him a thumbs up and not taking his eyes off the TV.

Ryou sat down next to him and grabbed a controller to play.

They started playing and Ryou was losing.

"Ryou you're such a pussy stop running away." Bakura said.

The dog barked and Ryou looked down at what he thought was Bakura's underarm hair.

"Bakura? I think your hair….is like mutated. It sneezes and barks." Ryou said.

"Nah that's just me." Bakura lied.

Marik finally woke up at 3:30 in the afternoon and stretched loudly.

"I had…the scariest dream!" He said.

"You saw yourself in the mirror." Bakura said.

"No!" Marik said.

"I'm very beautiful." He said.

"Really? Who lied to you?" Bakura asked.

"Ishi-hey!" Marik said angrily.

Ryou laughed.

Bakura got up.

"Well, I'm going out." He said walking out the door followed by Marik and Ryou.

"You tag-a-longs." Bakura grumbled.

"You know you love having me around." Marik said hugging Bakura.

Pussy bit Marik.

"Ow! Your hair bit me!" Marik screamed.

"Good hair." Bakura said petting the dog.

Marik growled angrily and grabbed the black patch forcefully.

He gasped.

"You lied about your manliness! You are not really hairy!" Marik said shocked.

"I have plenty hair give me my…uh patch!" Bakura said angrily.

"Ah! It's the rat!" Ryou screamed.

"EEEEEP!" Marik said throwing it at Ryou.

"Ni-I-I-I-I-ce Marik." Bakura said slapping his forehead.

Ryou tossed the "rat/hair" on the street.

Bakura gasped and everything turned silent when he saw a Hummer drive in slow motion running over the dog.

"Pussy!" Bakura cried.

"What did you call me!" A really tall buff guy asked angrily grabbing Bakura's shirt collar.

"He called you a pussy!" Marik said happily.

"Marik!" Bakura screamed.

"The tall guy punched Bakura and threw him on the floor crippled-like.

"Oooooh that was your raccoons name. Wow what a name." Marik said.

Bakura growled angrily.

"If I could move I would so kick your ass by now!" He screamed.

"But since you can't…" Marik said throwing himself on Bakura and letting his little germs attack.

"Ryou! My spray! Hurry spray me!" Bakura screamed hysterically.

"No! You lied to me! You brought a dog in the house and you didn't tell me! I'm allergic to dogs!" Ryou said angrily.

"I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

Ryou sighed. "O-

"Good spray me! I don't…have much time…left to…--coughs—live." Bakura said dramatically.

Ryou sighed in exasperation and sprayed the Marik germs.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The Marik germs screamed.

"Damn." Marik coughed.

"I can't believe Pussy died." Bakura said.

"And a Hummer of all cars!" Marik said.

Ryou and Bakura looked at Marik angrily.

"Hey be thankful it wasn't a Dune Buggy." Marik said.

"That would be better because it's smaller!" Bakura said.

"Really?" Marik asked.

Ryou sighed at Marik's stupidity.

"I'll get you a new pet Bakura. How does a bald cat sound? Then you can actually name it…um…that name." Ryou said.

"Pussy." Bakura said.

"What did you call me…again!" The tall buff guy asked angrily.

"He called you—

Bakura kicked Marik.

"_He,_" Bakura said pointing at Marik, "called you a pussy."

"That's right." Marik said folding his arms in satisfaction.

The guy punched Marik and walked away.

"Good. Maybe he's dead now if I'm lucky." Bakura said walking away with Ryou to the mall.

Whee! I had so much fun writing this chapter. The name I named the dog oh my god! That was soooo stupid! Lol! I liked it I would never in my life call my dog that though. It feels good to write again, but my computers being gay so I might now post up so many at once. My apologies ( Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Review por favor! And if I made any errors ((example then- but I put the)) sorry I fixed the more visible ones I just skimmed not read.


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